A New Guide To Sex Positions And Techniques
New Sex Positions!
A lot of men fall into the trap of thinking that a successful relationship is all about knowing the right sexual techniques and positions. The truth is, however, that there's a lot more to having a great time in bed with your partner than just knowing a whole load of sex positions.
Exciting though it is to throw yourselves around the bed, this will not substitute for good communication, a sense of intimacy, and a high level of trust and respect between you and your partner. Having said that, if all those things are in place, or mostly in place, then knowing about new sex positions can certainly add excitement, fun, and intimacy to your lives. Indeed, some of the best sex therapists believe that having a good sex life is actually necessary to have a really good relationship, and that the more you have sex, the more intimate you'll be with your partner.
So there are lots of great reasons to investigate new sex positions, and it's our objective to bring you a selection of exciting and different new sexual positions which you can try. We try to make all our photographs suitable for men and women to view together, mostly by using photographs of couples who are in relationships with each other, and who are enjoying what they're doing: illustrating the best new positions to enjoy lovemaking, unselfconsciously, knowing that this is one of the most fun things two people can do together! Our advice is to get your partner next to you, have a look at the pictures, and then get into the bedroom and try out some of these new ideas and novel positions in your own lovemaking!
Now one of the things that a lot of people -- particularly men -- believe about sex is that there needn't be much variation on a theme, so sex looks a lot like this: bit of foreplay, penis in vagina, man on top (maybe the woman on top if you're feeling adventurous), thrusting until the man ejaculates, brief cuddle, and go to sleep. (And nothing new, ever.) The problem with this, of course, is that it doesn't offer much possibility of sexual satisfaction for the woman: in other words, she is not likely to reach orgasm, regardless of the lovemaking position used.
Knowing about the sex positions which make it more likely that a woman will reach orgasm is a big step forward in your love life. Unfortunately, for many men the major factor in a woman not reaching orgasm during intercourse is their inability to control their ejaculation and the speed with which they reach their own orgasm.
So knowing about new sex positions goes halfway to being able to satisfy your partner, but the other half of the equation is all about lasting long enough in bed to be able to give her orgasmic pleasure. If you're a man without much staying power, we strongly suggest that you learn some simple ejaculation control techniques as soon as possible -- and we've been kind enough to provide you with an advert for the best ejaculation control program on the Internet, a new program which offers all techniques you need to be able to enjoy new sex positions to the full! (See the advert for Ejaculation By Command to the right of this page.)
And, by the way, if you happen to be a man who doesn't know how to control his ejaculation, then don't forget that you always have the option of taking your partner to orgasm by means of either masturbation or oral sex before you enter her. That's a pretty good way to ensure that both of you gets a great deal more pleasure during your lovemaking.
You can find out more about how to delay ejaculation by looking at this website, which comes from the same writers as the one you are currently reading. The advice is practical, and easily followed; it consists of techniques which are proven to work in generating greater ejaculatory control by allowing men to slow down the pace at which they approach the point of no return (the point of ejaculatory inevitability).
So on to the new sex positions pictures!
You might be wondering what can possibly be new about man on top sex -- after all, it's the sex position in which more people make love than any other.
Well, even if you think there are only a few basic positions for lovemaking (rear entry, man on top, woman on top, side by side, standing and sitting), there always hundreds of new variations you can come up with which individually alter the angle and depth of penetration, and so make the experience feel like a completely new one. Some will enable you to prevent premature ejaculation, some will slow down the rate of increase in your sexual arousal , and some will enable you to last longer during sex - you can check out www.longer-lasting-lovers.com for more information.
You can experience this yourself very simply by making love in the man on top position, starting off with the woman lying on the bed with her legs flat on the bed, and her man lying between them as he enters her. Take note of how it feels for both of you; the depth of penetration, pressure on different parts of his penis and her vagina. Now have the woman raise her knees, with her feet flat on the bed. This will significantly alter the angle of her hips and her vagina, and make the experience feel somewhat different. It might be better for you, or it might not: the physical feelings you get when you adopt a new sex position depend on the angle of man's erection, and the angle of the woman's vagina, so there's no way of knowing what will feel best for any particular couple.
Now take the experiment a stage further: have the woman pull her knees back right up to her chest: the man can support himself on his arms, or he can rest on her legs folded over her chest if the pressure is not too great for her. In both cases, check out how it feels. You're going to find that there's a different feel to each of these variations; and some of these new sex positions will feel better than others.
And that's our point: you can play around, you can try different things, and in the end you get hundreds of variations of the basic positions, each of which is a new experience, a new sexual position in its own right.
But there's more to it than this! What you feel isn't just about the angle of penetration. Loads of other things make a difference too -- for example, while a lot of couples believe that penetration has to be followed by in and out thrusting, faster or slower as experience has taught you, there are plenty of variations that can alter both the emotional and physical sensations you experience during your lovemaking. One thing I do know. You cannot just hope to control premature ejaculation by hoping things will be different this time, if you have ejaculated far too quickly since you started having sex! you need ejaculation control techniques that work, and this is the place to get them.
So for example, in the early stages of lovemaking, before a man's instinctual urges to thrust into his partner have taken over, there's plenty of opportunity for moving in a different way. You could try a gentle circular motion of the man's hips; or perhaps you could have the woman thrust while the man remains still. Another possibility is for the man to vary the depth of his thrusts, perhaps alternating deep and shallow thrusts, or perhaps just entering an inch or two inside his partner and then withdrawing so that the very outermost parts of her vagina receive more stimulation from the head of his penis than they normally would.
Another variation is known as the CAT (which stands for coital alignment technique, if you're interested): the man enters his partner, then shifts his body upwards on hers. Upon full penetration they then rock their hips, so that his pubic area stimulates her clitoris. It's actually possible for a woman to reach orgasm easily through clitoral stimulation in this way, and because the man isn't thrusting he's likely to be able to last much longer than he normally would during sex.
Now, having said all of that, we know that man on top -- commonly known as the missionary position -- is the one in which most people make love most often. Why should that be so? If such an old sex position is so popular, there's likely to be a very good reason why! In fact, we think are several reasons why man on top sex continues to be everybody's favorite:
Now, you may think some of those reasons are unreconstructed patriarchal stereotypes. The point is, as we said before, is that more people make love in the man on top position than in any other, so whether they are stereotypes or not, they appear to be fulfilling and rewarding for many people. But none of this needs to stop us trying new sex positions! Even if you spend 80% of your time making love in the man on top position, there's plenty of opportunity to try out new positions, even if they're just variations on a theme. You can see more of these in the photographs on this page.
The basic man on top position is one that's very familiar. The woman lies on her back with her legs apart, and her man enters her, either lying on top of her, or supporting himself on his elbows, knees, and hands -- exactly how he supports himself will depend on how the couple prefer to use his position, but you can see some of the common variations in the photographs.
Did you know it's not necessary to spend all the time when you're making love in rhythmic thrusting (or indeed in any other kind of movement)? If it's a new idea to you, why not try taking a rest, pausing your lovemaking, so that you have the chance to actually connect with each other, exchanging kisses, murmuring words to each other, and taking the time to savor each others' bodies as you do?
It's often said that a woman's ability to thrust is limited in the man on top position, but this is only true if her man's lying full-length on top of her, or if she's raised her legs so high that they are folded back on her chest or resting on his shoulders (again, you can see this illustrated in the new sex positions pictures on this page).
In reality, in many of the man on top lovemaking positions, the woman has great freedom of movement, and when a couple have learned to move rhythmically together so that her thrusts match his, there's a whole new dimension to sex which can be very exciting for both partners.
As well as allowing the woman to feel a greater degree of participation in a couple's lovemaking, female thrusts might also provide a woman with stimulation to the most sensitive area of her vagina, the G-Spot, which lies just on the top wall of the vagina couple of inches in from the opening.
Of course, it's also entirely possible for a man to stimulate a woman's G spot by thrusting in the right way while she remains still; it's hard to give precise instructions for the reasons that we mentioned before -- that the angle of each couple's erect penis and vagina are slightly different. In general, however, the most effective position for stimulating a woman's G spot is found when she brings her legs back so that her knees are up in the air and her feet flat on the bed, and the man is lying full-length, supporting his weight on his forearms.
Sex like this can arouse a woman to such passion that she instinctively wraps her legs around a man's buttocks to draw him more fully into her -- a sign that the instinctual urge to have her man penetrate deeply has been awakened by her sexual arousal.
Happily, nothing is more arousing to a man who's making love to his partner than her arousal. It's a feedback loop, which means that the more excited she is, the more excited he becomes. There's definitely a mysterious level of communication between a couple who are making love, in that each knows instinctively how aroused the other is; by far the best sex comes from mutual excitement and arousal, a real sense of intimacy and connection with your partner, and finding the new sex position which gives you the most enjoyable physical sensations.
Something else that can make a big difference in all variations of the man on top position is to accentuate changes in the angle of the woman's vagina by placing a pillow under her buttocks or even her lower back -- this increases the tilting effect at the pelvis, and changes the angle of penetration somewhat more than just moving her legs would do.
A new idea - go for deep penetration
Well, OK, we accept this might not be a new idea for everyone! However, deep penetration probably gives a man the greatest pleasure, because the walls of the vagina completely surround his penis, enveloping the particularly sensitive glans in the warm, moist flesh of this most intimate and special place. Slowing down sex with delayed ejaculation makes it better for both partners.
However, although deep penetration can arouse a man to very high levels of sexual excitement, he needs to respect the fact that his partner may not be able to accommodate the full length of his erect penis, particularly if she has a short vagina, or they're making love in a position where the penetration will be deep.
Although it's often said that a woman can accommodate any length of penis when she's sexually aroused, this is actually not true for a minority of couples, where deep penetration will produce discomfort due to the man's penis hitting the woman's cervix. In such cases, there are a number of new sex positions which, as we will see, enable a man to enjoy the sensation of the penetration without pushing his penis all the way into his partner's body.
As always during lovemaking, it's essential that you talk to each other so that you both know what's happening, and what each other wants. A couple who have been making love for a long time may find that they instinctively know what to do to please their partner without asking.... which is another benefit of having a regular sexual partner with whom you happen to be in love, or at least whom you respect.
More new variations on the man on top position
It's actually possible for a man to kneel between his partner's legs, although a lot of flexibility is necessary, and unless his penis is longer than average he won't get particularly deeply into his partner. One of the advantages of this new position is that it allows either the woman herself, or her partner, to play with her clitoris and labia, so that she enjoys more sexual stimulation than she would get in most variations of man on top, where her clitoris tends to be somewhat inaccessible.
Another advantage of this variation is that the man can see his penis sliding in and out of his partner's body, which can be extremely arousing for him.
A good option for some couples is to have the woman enjoy using a vibrator on her clitoris while the couple make love in this position (or indeed any sexual position where her clitoris is within reach): that way, no matter how much staying power her man has, the couple have the opportunity to enjoy the experience of having the woman reach orgasm while her man is still inside her.
If the woman keeps her legs closed, there's the opportunity for yet more new variations of this sexual position. You're probably well aware that having the woman keep her legs together means that her vagina will be tighter, and the man will enjoy more intense stimulation; naturally, the problem with this is that he may reach orgasm much more quickly! If he has great staying power, this is a good maneuver for the woman, because she too will get more stimulation as he thrusts. It is good sex which overcomes the fear of making love from which some women suffer, although arguably this is really based on a fear of intimacy.
The question of lube (from the female half of the team behind this site)
Speaking as a woman, I don't think most men appreciate just how sensitive the inside of a woman's vagina can be, a fact which is especially true after menopause, where the lining of the vagina can become much thinner. So lube is always essential for comfortable lovemaking, because without it the woman may suffer uncomfortable friction, and the man may find his penis somewhat sore the day after sex.
If a woman's own natural lubrication is inadequate, you may need to supplement her juices with one of the high quality artificial best lubricants for intercourse that are now on offer. It's worth noting that it isn't actually the quantity of lube that's important, so much as its consistency: the thicker the lube the better, at least up to a point, so even if a woman's producing what appears to be ample quantities of natural lubrication, you may still find it's worth experimenting by adding some artificial lube just to see how it changes things.
And, as a woman, I do have some other observations to make about lovemaking. Men seem to be very goal oriented, and can pursue an orgasm without, perhaps, as much consideration for their partner's wants and needs as she would like.
It probably won't surprise you to learn that the first thing any woman wants to know is that she's being valued as a person, not just as a way of getting sex: that probably goes without saying, and after all, you're either in a relationship like that or you're not.
At the very least a man should show his partner appreciation of the fact that she's allowed him to make love to her (and yes, I'm fully aware that there are hundreds of reasons why women want sex, and they're not all about love). In general, though, I believe for men the desire for sex tends to be more straightforward: it's about 50:50 between feeling love and satisfying a basic male sexual desire. Whether you agree with that or not, there's no harm in men aiming to make their partner feel loved and appreciated during sex.
Even so, whether you're making love to a partner with whom who you have an intimate relationship, or a partner who's a "fuck-buddy", trust will play a big role in how much the woman enjoys playing around with you in bed. New sex positions are all very well, but for a woman, it's probably the sense of being honored and loved by a man who respects her that comes first. And once that's taken care of, feel free to try as many new positions as you can find on this website!
I certainly love starting off our sexual pleasure in the man on top position. I enjoy feeling his weight on me, feeling a little bit dominated, kissing each other, being able to let our arousal grow together, which often happens after he's entered me and I begin to feel the sexual energy flowing between us. If you have any kind of fear of intimacy, check this out.
And when we start off in the man on top position, it's easy to find many variations on that by moving in the way that you've seen in the pictures above. More than anything else, perhaps, I enjoy the power I have to vary the position by moving my legs - clasping them around his waist, lifting them up onto his shoulders, and so on.
But I also adore the idea of switching positions during lovemaking -- it spins the whole encounter out much longer, and it gives me a whole variety of sensations that I wouldn't otherwise get. For example, it's also very easy to switch into new positions such as the side-by-side, one, I suspect, that's a whole new concept for a lot of people. (It comes highly recommended: try it out!). And I like him to get off first, then I can climb on top of him, so that I can enjoy a bit of girl power as he relaxes underneath me and I ride him to his second orgasm and my first!
What's so great about man on top? (by the man here!)
Well, you know what? Sorry to say it, but man on top for me is all about a feeling of masculine power and dominating my partner. And sure, I do like the sense of intimacy and connection that can come from it, but the most rewarding aspect of it for me is the sense of being in my real male sexual power.
Think about it for a minute: I can thrust deep into my partner, I can stare into her eyes and convey my feelings about what we're doing directly to her without words, I can kiss her breasts, feel her buttocks, and enjoy her body in every way it's open to me. That's a pretty powerful combination! And it's very arousing for me; I don't see that any of that means I'm being disrespectful to her, because, as I think she's hinted above, she enjoys the sense of being dominated in a safe way by partner who loves her.
And another thing that occurs to me is that despite all this talk about new sexual positions, it's actually the most basic form of man on top sex that I still find most exciting -- woman flat on her back, knees raised slightly, me lying between her, our bodies in close contact. What I conclude from that is that it's the most instinctually satisfying sex positions that we naturally enjoy the most - and apart from rear entry, what could be more natural than this type of man on top sex?
Still, having said all that, there's no doubt that the variations on the new positions that you can come up with, add a very exciting freshness, extra stimulation, much variation, and lots of sexual arousal. This adds up to real spice in our lovemaking.
One of the great things about man on top sex for me, in all its variations, is the fact that I can look at my partner, and see her face clearly, enjoying the various expressions cross her face as we make love: a slight gasp of surprise as I penetrate her, a moment that never loses its thrill for either of us; what I call "the retreat into pleasure", the self-absorption that shows on her face and which comes from my ability to thrust on her G spot and arouse her as we make love; her particular facial expressions of pleasure, of delight, as she approaches orgasm; and also, actually, her awe and adoration as I reach my own dramatic orgasm and ejaculation inside her. This is powerful lovemaking, sex as it should be, and it doesn't really depend on new sex positions to make it satisfying - it depends more on the energy and intention of the lovers.
Still, I've already said new positions can be exciting, and so they can. But I think it's basically very important to make sure that both you and your partner are satisfied in more important ways - your sexual needs and desires for intimacy are fulfilled -- before you start playing around with new sex positions, which after all, are only to be experiment with. Bear in mind that if are the man and you have a hiatal hernia - symptoms - the woman on top position may not be too suitable for enjoyable lovemaking! If you are the woman and you have symptoms of hiatal hernia then avoid man on top sex.
Now, as a man, you'll probably have noticed that the man on top position is one of those in which you come quite quickly! It's not hard to work out why -- for one thing, it's very arousing. For another, the muscle tension that's generated whilst you hold yourself up on your arms over your partner, or the tension that's produced in your buttocks as you thrust, all speeds up your arousal and makes you come faster. It's an odd thing, but that's the way it is.
So unless you can generate a kind of relaxed swinging movement backwards and forwards from your hips instead of the more normal thrusting that men really enjoy during lovemaking, this is never going to be the number one position for long-lasting sex. So how about trying something different? How about enjoying some new positions before you finish in the man on top? Just a thought...
One of the other things that you'll have noticed as a man, is that you have a powerful instinctive urge to thrust deep into your partner, quite possibly while you grip her around her shoulders with your arms. It's quite common for men to get into that place during sex, and it's quite natural. Giving way to those urges is deeply satisfying, very exciting, and does lead to powerful and rewarding orgasms.
What you might not have realized is that it is possible for women to get into an equally powerful instinctual place where they want penetration, they want your ejaculation deep inside, and they want to experience an orgasm as you thrust into them.
One of the most rewarding things in human sexuality is for a couple to be able to experience orgasm during lovemaking together: not necessarily at exactly the same time, but certainly close together. Now I know many men can't do this because they can't stop premature ejaculation, but it's well worth making the effort to learn how to extend your ability to make love, so that you can experience this profound form of sexual connection with your partner.
There are plenty of other points to keep in mind when you go experimenting with sex positions. For example, kneeling positions might be less satisfying at first, but the man can touch a completely different part of his partner's body: her legs and feet. That can turn you on, even if you never knew it! And in some of the variations, the woman has the chance to play with a man's nipples, which can be a really powerful new experience for a lot of men -- a man's nipples are no less sensitive than a woman's, but they often need to be awakened to their full sensitivity.
If you're a man, don't underestimate the power for your partner of seeing your face as you orgasm inside her -- it's an event that confirms a woman's deepest belief about her sexual desirability, her power to attract and seduce and satisfy a man. There's something absolutely primal about this.
Nor should you underestimate the romance of being able to kiss while your penis is buried as deep as possible in your partner's vagina. That's not just sexy: if you're aroused, it can be mind blowingly powerful.
Finally, remember that during sex, people's tolerance for stimulation goes up the more aroused they become, so that either you or your partner may really want harder stimulation as sex proceeds - firmer caresses, harder thrusting, faster thrusting, deeper kissing..... it's up to you to find out what satisfies your partner's needs, and to supply it! Above all, have fun....
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